Linda Grove does see auras, and they do mean something--they mean she can't drive.

In 2005, 842 people paid Linda Grove $120 for a 30-minute aura reading. In classified ads, Grove boasted that by reading your aura, she could get in touch with the “true beauty of your inner self.”

Yesterday, an investigation by the criminal branch of the IRS concluded that Grove probably does see auras, but only because she had botched laser eye surgery in 1999.

The investigation started in 2004 after two of Grove’s customers compared notes on their experiences with the aura reader. Both women then filed formal complaints, alleging fraud. One of the women, who did not want her name used because she feels humiliated, provided a couple examples from her aura reading.

“Ms. Grove claimed that my aura showed that I would meet the man of my dreams at church sometime in the next six months," the woman began. "

Then she claimed that my aura indicated that I was sexually repressed. I have twelve different dildos, seventeen different vibrators and a closet full of other assorted sex toys. I also have a lot of porn. And I’m currently having sex on a regular basis with four different women, sometimes at the same time. I'd say she was pretty far off the mark on that one too."

In the formal complaints by the two women, they both reported that Grove’s eyesight was really bad, and yet she didn’t wear glasses or contacts. “That made me really suspicious,” one of the women said yesterday. “Here she was claiming to have special visual powers, and yet she kept knocking things over and bumping into furniture.”

Grove turned herself in yesterday. She made a short statement to reporters gathered at the police station.

“I’m sorry to everyone who trusted me. When I found out that there was nothing they could do to fix my vision after the laser surgery, I was devastated. Everything I looked at had a fuzzy, glowing aura. I couldn’t drive to my job as a waitress. I couldn’t watch TV. I couldn’t do a lot of things that most people take for granted. So I tried to be positive. Soon I convinced myself that being able to see auras was a special gift. Word spread about my ability, and within days people were offering money to have me read their auras. It was a great job—easy, no commute, it paid well and I enjoyed talking with people. People treated me with a lot of respect and they told me all their secrets. I liked that too. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

Linda Grove has been charged with tax evasion and fraud. She could face up to 8 years in prison, plus $800,000 in fines and restitution.