In high school, I was a nerd and a dork. My friends were nerds and dorks. But twelve years later, all these rock bands and hot chicks want to be my friend on MySpace!

I’ve never heard of any of the bands, but they’re rock musicians, so they must be cool. And, more importantly, they must think that I’m cool! None of the bands have returned my dozens of messages, but I’m sure that’s just because they’re on the road.

And the chicks—they’re all really hot! And they’re CONTACTING ME! Every morning I check my email and I have several different hot chicks reaching out to me.

Suzy wants to be your friend! Pamela wants to be your friend! Christina wants to be your friend! They’re always hot. Surely, at least one of these hot chicks wants to be more than friends.

I never had the guts to ask a hot chick out, because I thought I was a nerd and a dork. But obviously, I was wrong, because now it’s like I’m a hot chick magnet. Usually, when I check out their MySpace profiles, they don’t have many friends—sometimes only Tom, the automatic MySpace friend.

So that means they chose me to be one of their first friends! They must be really interested in me. It’s weird, they all seem to have a link to a site where you have to pay for nude photos of them—but if I took nude photos of myself, I don’t think I’d give them away free either.

Sometimes when I pay to see pictures of the hot chick that wants me, I get pictures of a totally different hot chick, naked. But I know women, and that’s just a sign that I have one hot chick trying to set me up with another hot chick. I wish it was like that in high school.

Another thing, the profiles for these hot chicks are usually pretty similar, sometimes even the exact same—but I guess hot chicks just tend to do and like the same things.

So far, these hot chicks haven’t responded to my hundreds of emails, but I think they’re just playing hard to get. After all, they contacted me first. THEY made the first move. I just love it when a hot chick does that.