"Deep-down inside, every man wants a powerful and reliable Blowjob," Daimler Chrysler CEO claims.

Commercials for the new Dodge Blowjob begin airing tonight, and they take direct aim at a market segment currently dominated by one brand—GM’s Hummer. The 30-second spots begin with the massive, 10,000 pound Blowjob fighting to break loose from chains, its engine roaring as crowds gather.

With smoke machines and dramatic lighting, the Dodge Blowjob breaks through the chains and parades around, seemingly taunting the crowd. Then the voiceover begins: “With more towing capacity, gross vehicle weight, horsepower and torque than a Hummer…The Dodge Blowjob…it’ll blow any job away.”

The Blowjob comes at a time of declining interest in SUVs, especially the largest and biggest gas-guzzlers like the Hummer. But Chrysler isn’t counting on selling that many Blowjobs. Rather, they are relying on the Blowjob to provide Dodge with a tougher image that will pay dividends by selling more pickups.

Since the Hummer H1 was introduced to the civilian market in 1993, it has become a brand name as powerful as Harley-Davidson. Arnold Schwarzenegger provided a big boost for Hummer when he actively promoted his favorite vehicle.

And what is a hummer? It’s a blowjob. Consumer psychologist Karen Macker has studied the creation and marketing strategy for the Dodge Blowjob for this very reason. She offered an interesting Freudian perspective on the bold and risky name for a massive SUV. 

“I feel the name may resonate with a lot of good-looking, devoutly Catholic men, for instance, who dodged blowjobs throughout high school and college. Psychologically, I think that Dodge is hoping that such a man will make the crucial link that if he buys a Dodge Blowjob, it’ll make up for all the blowjobs he dodged.”

Amanda Fletcher, a spokeswoman for Dodge, denied such a strategy. "Blowjob is just a meaningless name, like 'Dakota' or 'Tundra.'" According to Daimler Chrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche, "Deep-down inside, every man wants a powerful and reliable Blowjob. Early reviews have been very favorable. American men really seem to love the Blowjob. I think demand will be so high that dealers aren't going to be able to get enough Blowjobs."

Many automotive marketing experts are closely following how the public reacts to the Blowjob, and its controversial name. In a recent comparison test in Muscle Truck magazine, the Dodge Blowjob blew away the Hummer. It blew away the Hummer with more power. It blew away the Hummer with more towing capacity. Basically, it blew away the Hummer in every category except styling.

The Blowjob offers some standard features that aren't even available on the Hummer, like six 5-gallon bucket holders. During the comparison test, professional drivers for Muscle Truck magazine repeatedly spilled the contents of their unsecured buckets in the Hummer.

The Dodge Blowjob will be prominently featured at the Auto Show, which begins January 28th at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Estella Warren was signed to a hefty contract to promote the Dodge Blowjob both in print ads and at the Auto Show. "She's definitely beautiful, but they got her because of her pouty lips," Macker said as she chuckled. "It was a smart move. She's got the best DSLs in the modeling business."

Check autoshow.com to find out when the Blowjob, and many other new cars and trucks, will be in a city near you.

Angelina Jolie rejected Chrysler's offer, but Estella Warren said that
she was "perfect for the role" and that she "loves the Blowjob."