In 2004, Senator Tom Coburn (R-Ok) stood on the floor of the Senate and made an impassioned plea: “The gay community is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today.” Most senators dismissed Coburn’s comment as an ignorant, paranoid and homophobic rant.         

For decades, gay teachers like these have been forcing good, straight kids to make an evil turn.

But it turns out that he was right. A two-year CIA investigation into the so-called “homosexual agenda” has uncovered startling details that support Coburn’s prophetic warning.

The gay agenda, it turns out, is hell-bent on making all Americans gay.
 
As of last night, it appeared that homosexuals have been working to implement their evil agenda for many years by concentrating their ranks in professions where they can influence teenagers at the critical ages when we all decide whether to be gay or straight.

For example, it is now suspected that up to 50% of elementary school teachers and counselors are gay.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that these teachers and counselors were secretly trained to use sophisticated techniques to suppress heterosexual tendencies in their students.

A high-level CIA officer, who requested anonymity, claims that the gay agenda also centers around expanding gay rights and infecting American culture.

“They have been using subliminal gay messages extensively in popular children’s shows for years,” the officer claimed.

“Barney Frank has agreed to testify against his homosexual co-conspirators in exchange for a lighter sentence. He can prove that Rev. Jerry Falwell was right about the popular children’s television show, ‘Teletubbies.’ It had one purpose: to make children gay. And Spongebob, that's pretty obvious now.”

Even more surprising, Frank claims that Barney the dinosaur was created by a team of gay psychologists and named after the congressman.

According to Frank, “Gays and lesbians in the scientific community have done a lot of secret studies since the 1980s. I was involved in one study that determined that my name unconsciously influenced my decision to be attracted to men. Barney is not a masculine name, that’s why it was used. And the combination of a gay name and a gay color has proven to be highly effective for influencing the sexual orientation of children.”

Gay marriage is also considered an effective tool for implementing the gay agenda. Frank seemed convinced that it would be a very powerful social force to make straight people gay.

“If gay marriage were legalized, obviously, more young people would choose to be gay. When a company offers more benefits, they attract more applications. Gay marriage would do the same thing. But that’s just common sense.”

Dozens of other elements involved in the gay agenda are expected to be revealed over the coming days. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow issued a brief statement from President Bush late last night.

"Gays and lesbians are no different than Al Qaeda. They must be defeated. If you have any gay friends or relatives, please report them to your local police."

President Bush will give a speech tonight at 8 p.m. EST from the Oval Office. He is expected to reassure straight Americans that the homosexual agenda has been thwarted and he may issue an executive order to withdraw all hate crime legislation involving homosexuals in order to allow public gay-bashing.