Scientist Joshua Barton has a new approach to combat global warming.

“Everyone talking about global warming has blinders on,” Department of Energy scientist Joshua Barton said yesterday at the start of our interview at his home in Northern Virginia.

Barton has long had a reputation for thinking outside the box, and he certainly wasn’t boxed in when he got dressed yesterday morning. For the interview, he was wearing the upper half of a shiny suit of medieval plate mail armor and a faded, blue Speedo bathing suit. He also had what appeared to be a small radio antenna duct-taped to his armor-plated left shoulder.

Barton made it clear that he did not want to talk about his outfit. He mumbled something about his difficulties achieving balance in his life, and then he declared that he would only address questions about one topic: Nuking the sun. He was eager to talk once this ground rule was established.

When asked about his reputation for out-of-the-box thinking and how his new idea was concocted, Barton smiled and said, “’I haven’t even seen ‘the box’ in fifteen years.’” He carefully adjusted the antenna taped to his armor-plated shoulder, and then continued. “Whenever someone talks about global warming, it’s all about the earth. We need to take the battle to the enemy. Don't blame man, we need to punish the sun."

Barton’s proposed remedy for global warming was widely criticized by the scientific community. “It’s ridiculous,” MIT climatologist Stan Wideman said yesterday. “An ICBM would burn up before it even got close to the sun. I think Barton, with all due respect, is off his medication again.”

That assessment proved to be accurate. Before the interview was completed, several men dressed in white instructed Barton to come with them. When he resisted, they hauled him away in a strait jacket. A spokesperson for the Department of Energy, Fred Dingle, released a one-sentence statement claiming that Barton was being treated for “acute exhaustion.”