A Children’s Story

Over two thousand years ago, there lived a Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost. The Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost was a horny ghost and he flew all around the world, looking for women. But the ghost was also a sad ghost. 

A blast of magical semen, and then a baby!

Like all ghosts, he was invisible. But he craved sweet love. He would find women everyday and try to strike up a conversation. But he never got a response.

He flew around for years, looking for the right woman, desperately hoping that a beautiful woman would finally hear his seductive ghostly words and see his perfect abs, stunning face and overall astonishingly good looks.

Of course, he also wanted the woman to fall in love with him for his charm, sensitivity, magic tricks, generosity, intelligence and all his other great qualities.

But every day each woman acted as though he wasn’t even there. He would sit next to many attractive women each day and he never got any sweet love.

The Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost became very frustrated. He didn’t know what to do. Then along came a young woman named Mary. The ghost visited Mary just as she was taking her clothes off to bathe in a beautiful stream.

Like all the other women, Mary didn’t respond to the ghost’s efforts at conversation. The ghost was now tired of his failures. So as Mary dipped into the stream, the Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost decided to take matters into his own hands.

He watched the naked Mary, and with laser-like precision, the Magical Semen-Shooting Ghost shot his semen blast with tremendous force into her flabbergasted vagina. Mary screamed with delight, and, boys and girls, that is how the virgin birth occurred. Of course, in those days, unwed mothers were stoned to death. Mary wasn't married when Jesus was born. If it hadn't been for the Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost, Mary would have faced a brutal death.

But thanks to the Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost, Jesus was born. And Jesus later died for all the sins of mankind. Nobody knows how this makes any sense whatsoever but ghosts don’t make sense either.

Oh, and like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, god, hell, heaven, the Magical Semen-Shooting Holy Ghost and the virgin birth never existed. So, boys and girls, just follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated—Especially gays, blacks and Jews.